All of that, though, as troublesome and worrisome as it was, was just so much hangover. It was unpleasant, but it would go away. What won't go away are the unanswerable questions. The impenetrable eyes, the need for trust. I have long known that I had taken a "leap of faith" (2) in believing that life and the world at large are good, are gifts to be appreciated. As much as having children had proved that, becoming a parent also had underscored the basic tenuousness of life, the need for faith in order to get out of bed in the morning, and even more to drop off a crying two-year-old at day care. It had made palpable to me the riskiness of the leap for all that I now had to lose should anything happen to my children. But only on these two occasions did I face the leap of faith I take each moment in believing in myself.