We managed to make our relationship last in the midst of some very difficult years after college. He had joined a circus without much choice, and I was the star attraction. They say your twenties are difficult—growing up, social life balanced with a career, relationship, kids, basically the beginning of the future. They are right. My twenties included a relationship with alcohol, my boyfriend-fiancé, poetry and writing, new independence, dreams, Marlboros, a social life, and complete insanity. I had a full-time job, booze, and eventually an overwhelming urge to sleep all day and avoid reality. I loved midnight TV and sunrises. My clock was backwards. To some, I was funny, and to others, exhausting. I loved a random swig of liquor and chain smoking. My boyfriend-fiancé was frustrated. I was selfish and told him to loosen up. Nothing was simple. Everything was extreme.